"She's not dead yet!"

This is an update. I recognize that as per usual, since my declaration of more frequent writing, there has been an astounding display of silence.  

However, unlike some...ok, let's be honest - all other times, I have not loftily posed this declaration and gone back to briefly considering the notion that I should write while I turn on the next episode of whatever I happen to be watching on Netflix* ("it's giving me inspiration"). I'll admit that I've done a fair bit of that as well, but I'm pleased to say that I have made some decent progress on the astoundingly awful volcano of words that will prove to be my first novel. It will likely go down in history as a literary embarrassment, but a personal victory nonetheless. 

The plan was to draw from the start of the short story about the fairy I posted some time ago - to use that excerpt somewhere, and carry on with the novel from there. I started it that way, but about 15,000 words in, I realized that my main character was not my main character, so I scrapped everything and started from scratch, which, while a little bit painful, I think turned out to be highly beneficial. Since then, I've given a lot more thought as to what I really want to write about, and who my characters really are. It's still a flaming pile of dung, but it's got potential. 

So far as I've written at this point, the events that transpired in that short story will still have happened in the universe of the novel, but they will be "off screen", so to speak. The vibe is a bit different, and the perspective has changed, and the original main character will have a bit of a personality makeover, but a lot of what I wrote is still "usable" in the context of the plot. I likely won't be sharing any of it here until it's done (if at all) but wish me luck and feel free to send me random text messages telling me to get my ass to writing, just in case. 

*As a side note, I have been watching/rewatching a lot of anime series recently, and I have to say that this kind of storytelling really is quite inspiring, especially in relation to the genres I'm interested in exploring. For me, anime is the closest audiovisual equivalent to reading a book. Perhaps I'll elaborate on that in another post. 

Ciao,

Shannon

Step 1 – The Buffening

Well, that’s it – my job is officially behind me. And while I am sad to leave many wonderful coworkers behind, I am certainly happy to move on to the next adventure. I’m still a little unsure as to what exactly will be involved in this adventure but I’ve no shortage of ideas.

One thing that I am sure of is that I will be working harder towards bettering my overall sense of wellbeing, which includes my physical health. I joined a gym at the beginning of the year for the first time since I was in high school, fully expecting to hate it. I’ve hiked up and down 4^th Street in New Westminster twice daily for the past year and a half. Beyond that, I did the Sun Run, Colour Me Rad, and hiked the Chief in Squamish (2^nd peak only). I can say with reasonable certainty that I have not done anything else that could be considered exercise since I finished university. This isn’t necessarily because I dislike being active, but 2013 was a weird year and I didn’t get out much, and I’ve never been much for exercising just for the sake of exercising.

Which is why I was very surprised to discover that I actually quite enjoyed going to the gym! Part of that may be due to this being a popular activity among my closest friends, and I’m often able to enjoy the pleasure of their company while working out. More than that though, especially because I started going to the gym when I was still feeling overwhelmed with work and life, I felt accomplished for setting a priority on my health and sticking to it. I’m not especially results-oriented – mostly looking for a greater sense of overall health. But if I can build some muscle too, I won’t complain.

Today was my first day off work, and I was a little worried I would fall off the wagon without my old routine, but I managed to make it there today, so I feel like I’m on the right track.

My dietary habits are another issue entirely... but I’m not ready to tackle that one just yet. ;)

Cheers!

A Moment of Self Reflection

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about myself over the years, it’s that I can’t carry on for very long without experiencing some kind of change in my life. Normally, I can get by on small changes, like new hairstyles and rearranged living spaces. Every year or two, however, the smoldering ashes of complacency ignite into a raging passion, and I’m suddenly struck with a certainty that I simply must leap out of my skin and slip into something completely new if I’m to avoid bursting into flames. I can work at something furiously for short periods of time, but I inevitably burn out, and need to start over.

After an exceptionally tumultuous year, I feel as though the wax has already melted away entirely, and I’m just a smoking bit of wick in the bottom of the jar. Times have definitely been tougher than they are now, but I’ve never felt more haggard. I’ve become increasingly selfish, distant, and lazy, and my self-worth generally sits at lower-than-comfortable levels.

I don’t much care for these developments.

So I’m going to try to shed my perceived burdens and find a place where I’m happier with myself, and with my relationships in the world around me.

I’m starting by giving myself more time. For the last year and a half, I’ve spent, commute included, at least 10.5 hours a day at a job that does not make me happy. In all other aspects, I am very fortunate to have had this opportunity. It was a marvelous luxury to have a reliable income for this time, but I am also fortunate now to have the choice of leaving this behind to pursue something that may be a better fit. I don’t know what that is yet, but I am already relishing the time I’ll have to get out of my own head and remember what I truly enjoy.

To go out of my way to make other people happy, just because I can.

To complain less, and show gratitude.

To be healthier and more active.

To be more aware of the world around me.

 

In the short term, this will probably manifest as some unnatural hair colours, impromptu travels, increased social activity and a barrage of new activities, but here’s to hoping that a few months from now, I will be a more balanced, humbled, healthy, and caring friend.

If not all that, I’ll settle for more fun.

Cheers!